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S03e11 weak in the knees
This transcript needs to be finished!

Dani [Extremely weak.] Finally, I'm back. [Looks in window, and sees her reflection.] Uh-oh. Whoa, that's one scary ghost. I got to get to Danny fast. [Starts flying slowly.] Or slow, slow’s good. [Flies even slower. Sarcastically.] Or slower, even slower's better. [Stops flying. Feet start to dissolve.] Ahh! I just hope Danny can help me! [Reabsorbs feet.] I can't let him find me! Okay, pull yourself together Danielle. Vlad is all the

way in Colorado. There's no way he can know you here. [Starts flying again, zooms in to a tracking device sent by Vlad.]

Vlad [Floating in his house, petting a cat.] Well, well, well. The return of the prodigal daughter. She's looked better, and yet she survived, the question is why? [Cat he is holding meows.] Oh, yes, I agree Maddie. It’s time for a little research. But she’s hardly going to come running home to daddy… [Maddie jumps out of his arms on to his desk and points to the button to call Valerie.] Oh, Maddie, you are so brilliant! yes, let’s call on daddy's little helper. [Vlad becomes human and calls Valerie.]
Valerie [Comes in the window on her board.]
Vlad Well, that certainly was fast. My, don't you look fancy.
Valerie Got a few upgrades.
Vlad Well, perhaps you'd be willing to upgrade your life as well. Wouldn't you like to finally move out of that rundown apartment?
Valerie [Board disappears.] Mmm-hmm. What do you need, Mister Masters?
Vlad A little bounty hunting.
Valerie Hunting down ghost scum is what I'm all about. The target?
Vlad Dani Phantom.
Valerie Danny Phantom? That guy's been an intangible pain in my butt for a long time.
Vlad Oh, no, sorry, my dear, not Danny Phantom. [Turns the computer monitor around for Valerie to see.] Dani Phantom, with an "I". A girl ghost.
Valerie You’re kidding, there's a girl called Dani Phantom? Ha! These ghosts need to come up with more original names.
Vlad Yes, well, this Dani Phantom is an incredibly evil, dangerous ghost out to destroy me.
Valerie What's she got against you?
Vlad Word must be out that I am hunting down ghosts. Once she brings me down who knows what kind of terror she will unleash on our fair city?
Valerie There is no way I'm letting the ghost girl get you, Mr. Masters. She is as good as caught. [Starts typing on her tracker.]
Vlad I knew I could count on you, Valerie.
Valerie And I’m glad I can count on that new apartment! [Her board reappears. She lands on it and flies off]
Vlad It will be so nice to get my little girl back. [He begins to laugh maniacally. Maddie meows loudly and angrily.] Oh, relax, Maddie. You’re still my favorite! [He scratches her chin]
Theme Song.
Valerie Daddy, when I catch this ghost girl, I promise to finally move us out of this crummy place! [Her tracker starts beeping] Hmm… Gotcha!
Dani If I wanna reach Danny, I’ve gotta keep up my strength!
Valerie What’s going on?! The coordinates brought me right here, but that fruit guy’s not a ghost! And neither is that kid! [She fiddles with her tracker] What is up with this thing?!
Dani I hate to do this, but… [She makes her hands intangible, then reaches into the apple stand to grab some apples]
Fruit Vendor [He gasps and looks back at her, suspicious.] Alright, let me see your hands!! [Dani raises her arms, her sleeves empty as if she has no hands] Heey! Aaaah!
Valerie Man! She’s good! I didn’t even see her pocket those! Poor kid… I know where she’s comin’ from… [Her trackers start going off. She gasps.] Huh?! That ghost must be around here! Don’t worry, kid! I’m not gonna let some little ghost freak get ya! Hold on! Listen, kid. I know you’re in here. And I know something evil is hunting you!
Dani Yeah, no kidding!
Valerie But I can protect you if you just trust me and come out!
Dani Woah!
Valerie Huh? You’re—you’re a girl and a ghost?!
Dani And you’re welcome.
Valerie The ghost girl!
Dani Yeah, but you can just call me Dani!
Valerie Oh, I will. Dani Phantom!
Danny Dad, I really gotta go. Sam and Tucker have been waiting for me for over half an hour to patrol—uh, Pa…troooclus! To do a report on Patroclus! A Greek warrior friend of Achilles.
Jack Your math homework can wait, boy! Check out my newest invention! I call it Ecto-Dejecto! With one shot of this no-go juice, ghostly power shrivels up like a raisin in the sun. Take this little spooky stinker. Yeah, he’s tiny. But terror comes in all sizes! Just hit it with some Ecto-Dejecto and watch it go from tiny to gone! Sayonara, spectral scum! Wait, are we shrinking?! No, no, no! Stop! Shields up! Maddie, quick! The Wraith Wrangler!
Maddie Got it!
Jack Danny! Containment! I just don’t know why I just can’t get the kinks out of this one.
Danny Um, any objections to me getting far, far away from here?
Maddie Good idea, Danny! Best you avoid any unnecessary contamination!
Danny Or embarrassment… Thanks!
Maddie Maybe I just need a bigger needle.
Dani Let me go!
Valerie Not on your afterlife, ghost girl!
Dani That’s what I’m afraid of… What are you going to do with me?!
Valerie Me? I’m not doing anything with you. I’ve got you all bundled up for delivery to Vlad Masters.
Dani You’re working for Vlad?! He’ll destroy me!
Valerie Ha! That’s a good one! He told me the only reason you came out of the Ghost Zone was to destroy him!
Dani What?! No! He’s lying!
Valerie Vlad Masters is a good man! He has never lied to me!
Dani Are you crazy?! Look at me. Do I look like I could destroy anything? Vlad is evil! And even though I knew he was hunting me, I chanced coming here because I’m dissolving into nothing! Only one person can help me: Danny Phantom.
Valerie You know the ghost boy?!
Dani Yes! Do you?
Valerie Of course! Everybody in Amity Park knows of the amazing ghost hero Danny Phantom! But I’ve never had the honor of meeting him…
Dani I’ll introduce you! Just set me free so I can see him!
Valerie Oh, I’ll let you see him. For the last time…
Sam A report on Patroclus? I’m impressed!
Danny Thanks! I guess I really do absorb some things while I’m sleeping in class.
Tucker Well, guys, I hate to say it, or maybe I’m glad to say it, but tonight’s ghost hunting scene is pretty much Dullsville. Unless, of course, you count the sudden appearance of Danny’s long lost ghost cousin.
Danny What?! My cousin?
Dani Whoa-aaaah! Danny!
Sam Danny? That was your cousin, right?
Danny I’ve got this one, guys!
Tucker Did we just get blown off?
Sam Pretty massively.
Tucker Wanna pig out at Nasty Burger and put it on Danny’s tab?
Sam Absolutely.
Danny Danielle? Are you okay? You look awful. What happened to you? Last time I saw you, you flew off kinda dramatically.
Dani You know how hard it is to fly off dramatically?! That plus our last battle with Vlad left me really wiped out. As much as I’ve tried to save my strength since then, I keep getting weaker! I needed your help to see if you can make me stay whole! But as soon as I got into town, Vlad came after me!
Danny He’s not gonna touch you, Dani. Come on, I’ll protect you.
Valerie I knew you’d take the bait, Phantom!
Danny Bait?! Was this a trap?!
Dani No! No! I would never do that! She saw me go ghost and she was gonna turn me over to Vlad until I told her I knew you!
Valerie It’s true, Danny. The little ecto-brat had no idea I was using her to get to you!
Dani You what?!
Valerie And she actually believed that I wanted the honor of meeting Danny Phantom! When I really just wanted the honor of destroying you!
Dani You—you tricked me!
Valerie [laughs] Now that’s two Danny Phantoms for the price of one!
Commercial break
Valerie I finally got you where I want you. Now, I want answers, Phantom.
Danny You’re not getting anything until you tell me what you did with Dani!
Valerie Oh, she’s getting what’s coming to her.
Danny Just tell me you didn’t hand her over to Vlad!
Valerie Well, that would be a lie, now, wouldn’t it?
Danny You didn’t seem to have any trouble lying to Dani! Listen, I know that we’ve had our issues, and clearly, you’re not big on forgiveness. But Dani doesn’t have anything to do with you hating me!
Valerie I don’t hate you, Danny. It’s because of you that I’m the most powerful ghost hunter in Amity Park.
Danny Hey! What about the Fentons?!
Valerie Are you kidding?! They couldn’t catch a ghost if it was living under their own roof!
Danny True.
Valerie But knowledge is power. And with your knowledge, I’ll be able to rid Amity Park of its constant ghost invasions forever!
Danny So you want information.
Valerie Everything you’ve got. On the ghost portals, the ghost zone…
Danny And what if I don’t feel like talking?
Valerie Then I’ll need to find ways to persuade you!
Dani What is it with you and examination tables?! Whoa!
Vlad Now, now, my dear, if you continue to struggle, there’ll be nothing left of you to dissect.
Dani Don’t touch me!
Vlad Eww… Structural density?
Maddie program Fifty-three percent, dumpling. Eighty-percent, sweetums. Oh! Love the cologne you’re wearing!
Vlad Ectoplasmic energy readings?
Maddie program Unstable, cupcake.
Vlad Clearly she is only mildly more sound than the other clones! The question is, why did she last longer than the rest?
Dani Please tell me you’ve been working on something to stabilize me.
Vlad Oh, no, my child. I’ve had far more important matters to tend to. My Maddie upgrade, for instance. Right, dear?
Maddie program Anything you say, my brilliant and ingenious lambchop. I love what you’ve done with your fangs!
Vlad Well, Danielle, it seems the only way I’ll be able to make a perfect clone is to melt you down and study your ectoplasmic remains.
Danny Valerie! You don’t want to do this!
Valerie No, you don’t want me to do this!
Danny Well, yeah! [She shocks him] Aaaaaaah, stop! I’ll tell you about the portals! I’ll give you a map to the Ghost Zone, you can become the hero ghost hunter of Amity Park! But first, you need to let me go, and we need to save Danielle!
Valerie Why? Because she’s one of your kind, a ghost?
Danny No, because she’s one of yours, a human! She’s not just a ghost. She’s also a girl.
Valerie But Vlad said the ghost side of her was out to get him and Amity Park.
Danny Valerie, you saw her! Did Dani really look like she could destroy anything?
Valerie Funny… She asked me the same thing.
Danny Look, the facts are, Danielle’s ghost half is unstable. Vlad is out to destroy her. And if he destroys the ghost half, the human half is destroyed with it!
Valerie No… That’s not my problem! She is a ghost. And I destroy ghosts!
Danny Fine! Destroy ghosts! But can you really take part in destroying a human?
Valerie What makes you think the Fentons would have anything to help Dani? They are ghost hunters, not ghost helpers.
Danny Yes, and no. My da—Jack Fenton tends to be a little of both. For the sake of all ghosts, I keep my eye on these guys and have a pretty good idea of what they’re up to.
Valerie You don’t think it’s a little dangerous flying into the lab of a family of ghost hunters?
Danny Something tells me we’ll be okay.
Jack Heh, heh, hey! Am I good or what?
Maddie program Intruder alert, dearest heart.
Dani Danny!
Vlad Phantom! Ah! What a nuisance! Well, this is an inconvenience at best. Can’t go letting her discover the truth, now, can we? [He splits in two, with one Vlad remaining as Plasmius and one changing back to his human form]
Plasmius Time to assume my role in our little production. I’ll go welcome our guests. And I’m sorry, dear. But I can’t have them see you, either.
Maddie program See you tonight for tea and cookies!
Plasmius And until then, there’s work to be done!
Dani Danny! Heeeelp!
Danny Dani?
Valerie It came from in there!
Plasmius Haha!
Danny I don’t want to fight you, Vlad. I just want to save Danielle.
Plasmius Sorry, not on my watch. [Danny is hit into a bookcase and changes back to human form. Valerie flies at Plasmius, but he goes intangible, causing her to fly through him] Feeling super in our souped-up suit, are we?
Valerie Actually, yeah!
Plasmius Not bad, but do you really think you can trap me, girl?
Valerie I think I just did. [Plasmius phases into the wall behind him] What the?!
Plasmius Breaking up is hard to do, unless you have a button that does this!
Valerie No!
Dani Aaah! Dannyyyy!
Danny Danielle! Oh, no. Valerie. Did she see me change?
Dani Heeeelp!
Danny Well, no time to worry about that now. [He goes ghost]
Dani Danny!!
Danny Valerie! Why were you standing around?
Vlad Masters Help! That horrible ghost trapped me and he’s going to destroy the girl!
Valerie Vlad?
Danny Hello? Vlad’s right in front of you!
Valerie Not him, Vlad Masters! This is his mansion!
Vlad Masters As the sweet, caring, good-natured man that I am, I beg you, don’t let him do it!
Valerie Ha! Told you he was a good dude! What are you doing to her?! Stop it, now!
Plasmius It’s going to take more than your little plasma ray for you to cut those ties, Daniel.
Danny I can’t break them, Danielle. There’s only one more thing to try. Feeling brave?
Dani A little weak in the knees, actually. And I don’t even have knees anymore!
Danny Well, then, I hope my dad didn’t mend this Achilles’s heel!
Dani I… think it’s too late… Bye, Danny… Thanks for…
Danny Oh, no! No!! No! Dani… I… I failed you… I’m so sorry.
Dani Danny? What’s the trouble?
Danny Huh? Hey!
Dani Ha! I’m me again! I knew you wouldn’t let me down!
Valerie A little help here?!
Dani With pleasure! I never got to thank you for the homecoming!
Plasmius Ha! You missed me!
Dani Guess that’ll teach him to pick on a defenseless girl!
Valerie There’s no such thing.
Danny Get Danielle out of here, Valerie. I’ll be right behind you. Man, you really know how to work the system, don’t you?
Vlad It’s my specialty.
Danny Now Valerie blames Vlad Plasmius for trying to destroy Dani, leaving Vlad Masters in the clear. If only she knew you were one and the same.
Vlad Well, you could tell her. But I’m afraid I would have to counter your slanderous accusations by revealing your little secret.
Danny Don’t come near her again! [he flies off] Dani, that was awesome! Dani? Valerie, where’s Dani?
Dani Boo!
Danny Ha, ha. Very funny.
Dani Thank you both! Vlad would’ve baked me into a puddle of nothing if you hadn’t saved me!
Danny That’s what family’s for, cuz! So, uh, now what? Heading off?
Dani Yep! Now that this Phantom is fixed, she’s got places to go.
Danny Well, just be safe, okay?
Dani Aw, Danny, nothing can hurt me now! [She kisses his cheek] And thanks, Valerie!
Valerie What’s that for?
Danny Deal’s a deal. You helped me save Dani, you may now have me back as your captive.
Valerie Forget it.
Danny What?
Valerie Fly away, ghost boy. Before I change my mind.
Danny All right! I’m going! [She blasts him in the backside] Ow! What in--
Valerie But don’t think this is gonna last! Tomorrow, it’s game on!
Danny And I’ll be ready to play!
Valerie I told him Vlad was a good guy. Mr. Masters! I forgot about him! Mayor Masters? Are you okay? Mayor Masters?
Vlad Disappeared! We were so close, if only we’d managed to melt that little brat down!
Valerie Is that Plasmius?
Vlad And who knew Valerie would be so easy to fool? “Trapping” me in the closet. [He changes into his ghost form] Oh, ingenious! For a smart girl, she’s very easily led.
Valerie Vlad Masters is Vlad Plasmius?! Phantom was right all along! And all this time I’ve been doing all his dirty work! Well, not anymore. Better watch out, Vlad… ‘cause one of the ghosts I’m hunting now is you!
Jack Hello? [He clears his throat] A little help here? I have to go to the bathroom!

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